Destroying My Own Worst Enemy with Gratitude

This morning I needed to peruse positivity quotes on Pinterest to re-center myself. Sometimes I need reminders that I am trying to be a better person and let go of bad habits. Something as simple as “expect nothing, appreciate everything” or “no matter how long you have traveled in the wrong direction, you always have the choice to turn around” reminds me that no matter what happened yesterday, there is always today to make it right. I want to stop overanalyzing every single interaction and get back to laughing and appreciating all the things I have in my life no matter how big or small.

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*The following are things I am grateful for in no particular order.

  1. Family. People who remind me I have a home and I belong no matter how lonely I feel sometimes. As long as I have my family, I know they will love me despite my moments of confusion, paranoia, self-doubt, negativity, selfishness…their unconditional love helps me to remember to love myself.
  2. Marshmallows.
  3. Big sweatpants.
  4. Music. I love music. All different kinds. Lumineers, Bruno Mars, Timberlake, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Mark Bassy, G-Eazy, The Cure, Bob Dylan’s lyrics, Indigo Girls’ harmonies, music that makes me feel like a badass (Cardi B), music that makes me cry, music that helps me understand what craziness is going on in my head, music that reminds me that other people feel the same way I do.
  5. My husband trusting me to cut his hair and goatee.
  6. My giant, smelly dog that protects our house from intruders.
  7. The chance to start a new challenge at work.
  8. A team of people that were so happy for me, they didn’t want me to know they were sad (I was sad too, but didn’t want them to know).
  9. That no matter what health problems my dad keeps fighting, my mom is there to help him get through it.
  10. Coffee.
  11. Boxing.
  12. My orange velvet chair.
  13. Hurricanes. The drink. And fullsizeoutput_4866having a place in Omaha to go to that brings New Orleans a little closer to me (Herbe Sainte in Aksarben).
  14. Travel. Getting to experience new places. Or going back to places you fell in love with when you were there the first time.
  15. Friendship. Finding people who have no obligation to be your friend, yet continue to be there through all your ups and downs. And getting the opportunity to be there for them.
  16. fullsizeoutput_4867My daughters (aka the chickens). They are my heart. My cheerleaders. My compass because without them I am not sure I would know which direction to go most days.
  17. Art. Art supplies. Art supply stores.
  18. Laughter. It cures most ailments.
  19. People in my life that help me get out of my own way. I am my own worst enemy, my own worst critic. I hope that people don’t get tired of reminding me of that and don’t give up on me.
  20. Time. While I know it goes fast, I am grateful for every minute I still get to spend with the people I love.

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I’m sure I could keep going…I really do like cupholders and the new pillow I got recently. It’s time to sum up though.

My point here is this…I fight sadness, confusion, and fear a lot. My mind unfortunately overthinks, overanalyzes, influences the wrong steps. And sometimes no matter what I do, there are days when I am my own worst enemy despite the fighter in me trying to be a better person. So when this happens, I have to take a time-out. Remember what is important, remember why I have chosen people to be in my life, stop trying to make sense out of everything and live in the moment. Be happy.

BE HAPPY. BE HAPPY. BE HAPPY.

And not only be happy, but spread happiness to others. Don’t be the cause of their unhappiness. That’s not who I want to be. I am grateful for time, but it does go fast. And for those in my life that choose to love me, and those I choose to love, I don’t want to spend the few moments we have dwelling on negativity, overanalyzing things that don’t matter. I want to laugh. I’ll leave you with another quote I found from Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Be honest, be silly, be kind”. It’s that simple.

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