I Believe I Can Fly

I recently dreamt I could scale brick walls like an American Ninja Warrior which made for a very quick path from the ground to the roof. I’ve also had recurring dreams in which I was able to float through the air, propelled by my butterfly kicks.

Feeling inspired, today I rode my bike. Did I feel weightless? No. I did not feel weightless. At one point, I had to walk the bike up part of a hill.

Life lessons for today.

  1. Bike rides in your head are much easier than actual bike rides.
  2. Eating breakfast pizza and drinking a latte prior to said bike ride will not make you go any faster.
  3. Omaha has too many hills.
  4. Wind sucks.
  5. Pushing a bike up hill is easier than riding it. Seriously…why the hell am I riding a bike then? I could have just walked up the damn hill and not felt like a failure.
  6. Dreaming may lead to unrealistic expectations of gravity.
  7. Someone should invent bouncy ball implants for feet.
  8. If a 300 lb boxer name Big Baby can knock the sh^% out of another boxer, I might still have a chance. (Note to self: Would I go by G Baby or Big G? And should I make “whoomph” sounds when I throw hooks.)
  9. If my 14 year old (98 in human years) arthritic, crooked dog can still find the energy to kick out his crooked little leg and mark his territory throughout the yard, then I have no excuse. (No excuse for aches and pains stopping me. I didn’t mean no excuse for marking territory throughout my backyard.)
  10. For my next dream I’d like to be on a beach. Surrounded by Cadillac margaritas. Singing Hello by Lionel Ritchie and sculpting faces out of sand. (Because, duh,  it’s a dream.) And this time when I wake up, rather than ride a bike up hill against the wind, I will take a pottery class, sit my ass down, and have a cocktail.


    This picture fully captures my mood at this moment.

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