I recently dreamt I could scale brick walls like an American Ninja Warrior which made for a very quick path from the ground to the roof. I’ve also had recurring dreams in which I was able to float through the air, propelled by my butterfly kicks.
Feeling inspired, today I rode my bike. Did I feel weightless? No. I did not feel weightless. At one point, I had to walk the bike up part of a hill.
Life lessons for today.
- Bike rides in your head are much easier than actual bike rides.
- Eating breakfast pizza and drinking a latte prior to said bike ride will not make you go any faster.
- Omaha has too many hills.
- Wind sucks.
- Pushing a bike up hill is easier than riding it. Seriously…why the hell am I riding a bike then? I could have just walked up the damn hill and not felt like a failure.
- Dreaming may lead to unrealistic expectations of gravity.
- Someone should invent bouncy ball implants for feet.
- If a 300 lb boxer name Big Baby can knock the sh^% out of another boxer, I might still have a chance. (Note to self: Would I go by G Baby or Big G? And should I make “whoomph” sounds when I throw hooks.)
- If my 14 year old (98 in human years) arthritic, crooked dog can still find the energy to kick out his crooked little leg and mark his territory throughout the yard, then I have no excuse. (No excuse for aches and pains stopping me. I didn’t mean no excuse for marking territory throughout my backyard.)
- For my next dream I’d like to be on a beach. Surrounded by Cadillac margaritas. Singing Hello by Lionel Ritchie and sculpting faces out of sand. (Because, duh, it’s a dream.) And this time when I wake up, rather than ride a bike up hill against the wind, I will take a pottery class, sit my ass down, and have a cocktail.