Today I cooked with Spam. Lite Spam to be exact. I got the typical comments, “eww, what is that?” and “I like regular ham”. It got me to thinking, why is it that Spam is so harshly judged but liver pate is a delicacy? Does anyone know what a liver does? It makes me wonder who makes these rules? Pork belly has also been popping up in fancy restaurants for a while. Why is the pig’s belly something to rave about? Who decided? And bone marrow? It’s the junk inside a bone. Spam or junk inside a bone…why is one better than the other?
The Spam pan-fried with a little butter and seasoning then tossed with some Brussel sprouts is actually pretty tasty. I placed these two on top of some brown rice and black-eyed peas, a few roasted sweet potatoes along the side and wa-la, lunch for a week. Now let’s say I was a trend-setter…a chef at an elite restaurant and I deemed this to be the up and coming new fancy dish. All of a sudden, Spam’s price gets jacked up, you can’t find it on the shelves and my simple little inexpensive lunch bowl goes for $35 a plate at Fancy Mcgee’s restaurant. Do you think it’s that easy to change perception? I think it is. Otherwise “mom jeans” would not have come back into style.
So who gets to decide what’s cool and what’s not? Why do people feel like they have the right to judge? I get tired of living by “their” rules of what’s right and what’s wrong. And who is this “they”? (There is a actually a great song by Sofi Tukker that tries to figure that out. as well as challenges who gives an “f” about they). Let’s decide right now to stop caring what “they” think. Who’s with me? Wouldn’t it be so super easy if we all said yes and actually stop caring? I know it’s not that easy, but it doesn’t stop me from trying.
I want to make my own rules. I want to live by my own standards and let other’s live by theirs and never the two shall meet. I’m exhausted from all the judging. I just want to live and stop worrying about what that person said or did or how this person lives their life. If a guy chooses to put meth in places that seem out of the ordinary and dies from it, well, that is his choice and I don’t want to judge because who knows what he was thinking. It’s possible he knew it wasn’t okay to put meth there and he didn’t know why he did it, or why he was privately hooking up with men when he had a wife and child at home. Who’s to say this side of himself didn’t torment him on a daily basis but something drew him to making these decisions despite what he knew to be right and wrong?
We all live under this cloak of rules we have been taught since we were children. And some of us suffocate underneath it because we are different from the norm. Although, is it just some of us? If people could hear every thought you’ve ever had, how would you feel? Be honest. I am talking every single thought you have ever had, even the ones you think and then say to yourself, “what the hell, stop thinking that!” I don’t read the Bible religiously (is it okay to use religiously in that sentence since it refers to the Bible?), yet I do recall something about not throwing stones unless you want people throwing stones at yourself and glass houses and all that. I don’t want to do it anymore. I don’t want to judge and I don’t want others judging me, but I know if they do that’s on them. I am going to try to care less as to whether someone judges the decisions I make and I am going to try really hard to stop judging others for their decisions.
I do find there are some perks to getting older. I look back at some of the things that hurt me like the kids across the street mocking me for being larger than what was acceptable, hiding myself because of it, never bringing attention to myself…F that. I see kids now a days owning who they are and I wish that had been me. But I love that with age, it is becoming me now. I don’t give a shit, hate me, love me, I don’t f’ing care anymore. We all have our issues. We all are facing our own challenges, demons, attempts to fit into a world that doesn’t always fit us. Instead of being ashamed, find the people who will love you through it, those who understand that no matter your choices, at your core you are still the same person you’ve always been. And just because they say something is wrong, it doesn’t mean you are hell-bound. Or maybe we all are hell-bound and we will have one helluva party when we all get there.
So eat Spam if you want to. Eat liver pate if you want to. I won’t judge. To each their own. Life is too short to keep worrying about all this bullshit. Bottom line, when I get to the end of this road, I want to know I lived my life the way I wanted to live it.
“Be weird. Be random. Be who you are. Because you never know who would love the person you hide.”